2. Before venturing out of the house for any reason whatsoever, you have to have a discussion on appropriate language. ("We aren't going to talk potty talk at church, are we?" The boy: "No, I'm going to talk like a gentleman!"). So precious. So sweet. Faith in mothering abilities: restored.
3. #2 is conveniently forgotten by the little boy when you're standing in line for the checkout at the commissary; naturally, next to a Sergeant Major. "Mama, can I sing a song?" "Sure honey, which song would you like to sing?" "Three Blind Mice." "Okay, go ahead!" "Three blind mice. Three blind mice. See how they FART! See how they FART!" You will shoot a look of abject horror towards the Sergeant Major, who is practically giving himself a hernia in an attempt not to laugh.
4. No matter how fastidious you are about cleaning your home on a daily basis, there will be a trail of dirt that follows your boy everywhere he goes. I don't know how, and I don't know why. Dirt latches on to my son like I latch on to red wine. Speaking of which...
5. At the end of a long day, I like to enjoy a glass of wine. Or two. After one particularly long, frustrating day, the second Will came walking through the door I ran to our wine rack (not unlike the way shipwrecked passengers frantically cling to lifeboats). The boy announces, "it's time for Mama's happy juice!" Clearly, I set a shining example.
6. You notice he has what I refer to as "selective male hearing." I asked the boy to pick up his toys FOUR TIMES yesterday. Hearing silence from his room, I flung open the door to find him sitting in the middle of chaos, playing with Mister Potato Head. "Didn't you hear me tell you to pick up your toys?" "Yes." "Well, why didn't you? And why didn't you answer me?" "I'm busy." *headdesk* To my son's future wife...I'm sorry. Please know that I tried.
7. You're beyond proud to have the most handsome date ever at your friend's wedding.
|Clearly, the kid has a future as a Kiss band member.|